When People Need you to Simply…BE
Jul 22 2019
As leaders (coworkers, friends, caregivers) we often want to fix other people’s problems, solve their dilemmas, and make them feel better. Sometimes the best thing we can do for another person is simply BE. Building Brave Expert Darcy Luoma outlines what it means to BE.
Give someone your undivided attention. Don’t type an email, don’t peak at your phone to check a text, don’t glance in the hallway when someone passes. Give the gift of your full presence and attention.
Really listen, instead of merely wait for your turn to talk. Listen, say what you’re hearing, and then listen more.
Ask questions, but not to solve the problem! Ask how you can help. Do they want to vent, or are they seeking advice? What do they need? What’s getting in the way? Be curious for their benefit, and not to solve the problem.
Learning to BE takes time
“Often people know the answers, they just need to take the time to tune in and trust themselves. Powerful leadership means empowering staff (or friends/family) to gather the knowledge they need to tackle an issue, tune into their instincts, and then trust themselves enough to act on this information. Getting caught in the habit of solving issues for others keeps people dependent and slows progress and growth.” – Building Brave Expert Lisa Merlo-Booth
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